delicate weapon
- Eddies
- 617
Lizaveta shut her eyes, squeezing her eyelids tightly.
"It is annoying that your type -- not you, since I don't know you, but your type -- cares more about Grigori's crimes now that he is dead than they ever did when he was alive. If I had come to a police officer on the street and said my boyfriend is a criminal, he is involved in organized crime they would have told me to call someone who cares. And that is not just a Night City problem. No, it is the same or worse in the Soviet Union. The things he did to people... the things he did to me -- there is not a soul in Night City or Moscow that would care."
She opened her eyes and took her coffee cup to the trash can to tap the cigarette out into the trash bag. "Where do I start with Grigori?" A deep breath, a shaky exhale. "I was nineteen when he took me over. When he decided that I would be his property. I did not want a man; I was barely more than a child. I was not ready for -- for all the things that he expected of me. But when I tried to refuse, he threatened my family. That he could locate them in a matter of hours was terrifying. I could not refuse him."
Her jaw set and her voice was dull, as if she was reading from a particularly dull book. Someone with an understanding of psychology and unhealthy coping mechanisms would recognize it as disassociation, a way to strangle the emotions before they strangled her. "Life with Grigori was comfortable but punctuated with brief periods of great discomfort. He took away the things that mattered to me, piece by piece. My family, who I was not to visit without him. Friends, who did not like being surveilled when we had lunch. My dancing -- my dancing," she said, voice trembling, as if discussing the death of a child.
"First it was that I could not tour with the traveling company so I wasn't away from him. Then he came here and decided to make his life here. I wanted to return to Moscow, to continue my career. He took it all in stride, of course. Butter wouldn't melt in his mouth. He wasn't angry -- Grigori did not get angry, you understand. That made it all the more terrifying. You see there were no warning signs when he came back to me with a hammer and smashed my knee with a hammer."
Tears were streaming from her eyes then, though she did not give in to the emotion of it. They were an automatic response, not an indulgent one. She was leaking more than crying, but they made her eyes the most brilliant aquamarine. "It ended my career. I would never dance again. The Bolshoi does not allow cybernetics in their dancers, nor surgical enhancements. My knee is titanium, which is close enough for them." Lizaveta brushed her cheeks with her sleeves, irritated at the weakness that her tears showed. "It was over. And I knew he wouldn't stop that. If I ever questioned him or disobeyed him, it would only escalate. So he was made to face the consequences of his actions. Not just ending my identity as I knew it. Mixing drugs and alcohol so carelessly... as if he was too important and well-connected to stumble like we mere mortals." A derisive half-snort.
Finally she turned back to Jack. Her voice was cold, her fury at being made to recount her experience with Grigori glacial but readily apparent. "Call it vengeance if you like. I know better. Are you satisfied, Office Kowalski?"